Well, That Was Weird.
For some reason, Blogger didn't want to let me back on and was claiming my cookies weren't working. So I deleted my Firefox cache, and then it turned out I hadn't logged out of Blogger.
*spooky ominous music*
My theory is that the bad karma and the outraged Chinese gods are already attacking Google... and worse is yet to come....
*segue to ominous symphonic crescendo*
Run, Google, run! The Kitchen God's about to report back to Heaven on Chinese New Year!