Adventures in Songwriting

I'm dedicating this one to Jeff Miller, who cheers me up. Of course, if he'd written this, it would be a bit better....

With a Little Bitty Kid
Lyrics: Maureen S. O'Brien, 1/3/04
Music: "With a Little Bit of Luck", My Fair Lady

The nicest people wouldn't kill a crim'nal.
They wouldn't give a terrorist the chair.
The nicest people wouldn't kill a crim'nal, BUT
But with a little bitty kid,
With a little bitty kid,
For death sentences they just don't care!

CH 1:
With a little bit,
With a little bit,
With a little bitty kid, they just don't care!
With a little bit,
With a little bit,
With a little bitty unborn kid!

A mom can get a lot of help and choices.
So why's she think there's nothing else to do?
A mom can get a lot of help and choices, BUT
But with a little bitty kid,
With a little bitty kid,
Folks she loves say, "Kill it or you're through!"

CH2: (as above, except)
With a little bitty kid, they say she's through!

A woman has a right to her own body,
And what goes in her body she can choose.
A woman has a right to her own body, BUT
But with a little bitty kid,
With a little bitty kid,
She is just a thing for labs to use!

CH3: (as above, but)
With a little bitty kid, a thing to use!

BRIDGE:
Go protest war and meat and furcoats --
But if she ain't born yet, don't be upset!

There's bad genetics and then there's miscarriage;
Disease and injury are always near.
There's bad genetics and then there's miscarriage, BUT
But with a little bitty kid,
With a little bitty kid,
Mom and Dad must be a kid's worst fear!

(optional sf verse)
Some people wonder how to breed a teela*,
So lucky there's no danger she can't scorn.
Some people wonder how to breed a teela, BUT
But with a little bitty kid,
With a little bitty kid,
She'll need plenty luck to just get born!

*teelas: Larry Niven's novel Ringworld included a character named Teela Brown who was extremely lucky; Niven justified her existence by theorizing that the human race could be seen as inadvertently breeding for luck. These genetically lucky people he called teelas. Later, he wrote a short story set in a future so full of high-tech safety devices and lucky teelas that nothing story-worthy ever happened again.